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Few things are more challenging than collaborating with other people under pressure, especially when you didn't choose these people to collaborate with. At stake: your income and ability to feed your family, access to health insurance, and maybe even your reputation. 

As much as this sounds like this could be from Squid Game, this is just in a real life competitive workplace.

Given all these pressures, the people fighting beside you in the trenches of your workplace – whether in a physical workplace or remote – can become your best friends for life or your greatest enemies. And most people want their coworkers to be the former. 

According to sociologist Dr. Tracy Brower, experiencing a crisis causes our brains to release oxytocin, sometimes called the "love hormone" because of its role in helping people bond. That means that when we experience extreme stress with our coworkers, we have an opportunity to grow close bonds – as long as the way we approach the problem is collaborative rather than adversarial. 

You probably already knew that, though. But did you know that oxytocin can actually cause us to be adversarial with others if we see them as outside of your group? Dr. Brower says this is because the release of oxytocin makes us want to protect "our people," so to speak. This seems to be especially true in men.

And that's the secret of coworkers who actually enjoy working together, even when there's a ton of pressure: they stay on the same team. 

That doesn't mean everyone agrees or acts like a cheering section of "Yes Men." They disagree, and they have to battle it out sometimes. But at their core, people whose relationships grow stronger through adversity at work keep their colleagues close, making sure they are all part of a group called "our people." 

How? Ruth Schimel, Ph.D., a career and management consultant, says it's all about building trust by delivering on promises. To do that, Schimel says we must "sustain straightforward communication, be consistent in important actions and communication, and deliver on promises or alert others of your inability to do so in a timely way."

Above all else, remember that you're on the same team, working for one goal. Keep these things at the center of your mission and hold close those who do as well, and you'll likely be building a successful team at work and a strong group of friends.

Sincerely, 

Joanna, YourTango Editor & author of Talk To Your Boys

A message from YourTango

Constantly Fighting & Emotionally Drained? Learn the Conversation Shift That Stops Conflict In Its Tracks

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