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Dear reader,

My dad was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, small cell, that's metastasized to his brain and his lymph nodes. We just got the biopsy report the other day, and tomorrow is our first day with the oncologist.

We lost my mom six months ago.

Last night one of his friends came over. Somebody considerably younger. And on his way out he said the thing everybody says. Well, if there's anything we can do.

And I said, you know what? There is.

Will you text my dad every day? Even if it's just something little and small. It doesn't need to be anything big.

Let's face it, when somebody is facing a potentially terminal disease, when we're talking life and death, it can feel really awkward. You often feel like you need to make him feel better, need to have the answer, need to blow some sunshine.

But you don't.

Simply showing up, whether it's sharing a joke, or here's what's going on with me, how's it going for you, just keeping it normal and real and loving, punches above its weight in such a big way.

And for my dad, six months after losing my mom, to have that extra love and care and attention is monumental.

I'm going to add this, because it surprised me. The data is really clear, particularly with cancer patients. For people who are surrounded by loved ones, by loving family and friends, that loving care and support is as important as the medical treatment. As the chemotherapy. You can look that up.

So if you're a caregiver, enlist the friends.

Caregivers already bear a monumental logistical load with the medicine, appointments, the physical care, all that jazz. When people ask to help, take them up on it. Both for you and for the patient.

Let's face it, we all need to be needed. Even on the periphery, it feels really good to be part of the team and the tribe helping with their care. And when someone is at a stage in their life where they may doubt how much their life matters when things get dark, being reminded that they do matter by people showing up is valuable and effective.

What I know for sure is that love is never wasted.

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HeartState Drop-In call on Tuesday. ✨💫

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Give yourself 30 minutes to actually reset this Tuesday.

Join Andrea and our HeartState Society community live on Tuesday, September 22, from 3:30 to 4:00 PM ET for a FREE HeartState Drop-In. It’s a casual midday reset designed to help you step out of the noise, come back into your body, and head into the rest of the week feeling more like yourself.

There’s no lecture, no prep, and no pressure to talk. Andrea will start with a quick HeartState activation, then we’ll open the room for whatever the community needs that day. 

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